i am fighting with dragons when i try to spit out any semblance of reason. the moment i try to start i am overcome with what i once thought was a shortcoming but i know now to be ghosts of what i used to value (life)
i am a death hidden in the leaves of your favourite novel
i am honestly bad for the health of any traveling bard or passing soldier. i am a plague. i am your sickness. i am an anaesthetic.
i am a vaccine against polio/heartbreak/colic or was is jaundice? i'm yellow-skinned, i'm yellow-bellied and i'm yelling to the sky like i can't hear the sirens.
I JUST WANT TO SPEND A DAY IN YOUR (SOMEBODY'S) ARMS LIKE I BELONGED, LIKE I WAS A PART OF THE FAMILY. APART FROM THE FAMILY.
i can't help SCREAMING because dear i don't know who "you" are anymore and nobody is listening to this but the static is thinning. i'm still the mountain of broken toys i was assumed to be so long ago. i'm pulling my guts out. i'm pulling my ears. i'm listening but i can't hear you. i'm just head- banging to my own beat.
I love how this poem flows nice and evenly. There is just so much deep emotion hidden in each phrase, one would need to read it over a couple times to decipher the meaning. Emotions like this are often near impossible for me to put into words and have it come out the way yours did. A poet like you that can find a way to bring it all out in your poems the way you can honestly has a rare and unique amount of talent.
I like the Jaundice part, "I'm yellow-skinned, I'm yellow bellied and I'm yelling at the sky" it was very clever. My number one favorite part was the very first stanza because it seems like you were trying to let it all out, but you didn't know how or maybe something held you back or you were at a loss of words. Then things got flowing and the emotion just kept building and building until it all just settled down in the end.
I honestly haven't been practicing my poetry and writing lately, I am an ameteur when it comes to writing poetry. When I write a poem and I look back on it, I see that I did terribly in choice of words. I want to get better, and I believe that I could possibly learn a thing or two by reading some of your poems. It's really not in my place to say all that I've written above when the others have pretty much beaten me to it. I just want to say that you are a truely wonderful poet that has such incredible talent that I have never seen before. I love this poem, and don't ever stop writing poetry... because I would love to read more. c:
Thank you so much! This was really a joy to read. c:
I think that a lot of poetry is just thinking of new ways to say the same old things. I could express myself in a million cliched, overused phrases, but I instead try to think of new words and turns of phrase that work for me.
to be honest the line spacing and flow didn't work for me the first time around. I'm not sure whether that was because I wasn't reading it right or what because I did something else and then came back and realized I hadn't commented so I read it again and it read a zillion times better. The metaphors and shit are really good, really well done. I love the yellow --> yelling etc part. Favorite part. It works, it flows well, and it's a damn good piece of language.
I get really confused when reading poetry because when the first person I is used I have to decide who the speaker is meant to be. This is just my random thought, because with all poetry I wonder whether it's the authors or some character's or just you know. Whatever. I don't think it matters really. And if it does, especially when I'm reading people I know's poetry, I don't want to know. I like the mystery left in it. I find that interesting though, reading stuff or looking at pictures just thinking of what the message is. And who it's from. I mean in theory it's always from the creator, but who are they giving the message to carry to me? Okay that made no sense this is unrelated now, I guess.
I think this is really good, and the fact that I sort of blargh'd at it the first time might have made it better in fact. It meant it required a bit more focus, attention, and thought. Which is all good. Like a higher level, yanno?
JUST SO YOU KNOW BEFOREHAND this comment made my day because it's all LONG and PRETTY and it's FROM YOU. I'm SO LAME.
Thankyouthankyouthankyou you are very nice. And I guess that's kind of... good the "not liking it at first" thing? UPPER LEVEL THINKING.
And yeah, I know, right? Like I usually assume poetry is from the writer's perspective but sometimes it just THROWS me because it's a character and WOAHWHAT. But in a good way. And yeah, I usually more or less write from my own perspective, but sometimes to myself, sometimes to the reader, sometimes to an imaginary person. And it's not even all necessarily true. But YEAH it's always an interesting thought! Because sometimes you wonder who they're addressing or if they're addressing themselves or even anyone at all.
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scheinbar is a much-loved and well-known deviant. Just one look at her gallery, filled with enchanting photography, will have you mesmerized. A deviant for over 7 years, Christiane can always be found posting inspirational features as well as regularly commenting on other deviations and encouraging and empowering her fellow deviants. We are inspired and insist that you too stop by and congratulate ... Read More